December 5th, 2007

Last night's dream...I was on skis going down a really, really big mountain ski path. I had on a puffy white ski outfit, the skiis were white too, as were the poles. It was all white and I thought, "If I crash no one will find me in all this white." I had very little control and was at the mercy of fate. I kept trying to figure out a way to slow down or even stop. A way to change my direction so that instead of going straight down at a mind numbingly fast pace I might start going sideways and then maybe I could even do a little cross country skiing, which I had always wanted to try and have heard was quite relaxing. I continued to bomb down the very steep hill snow flying from my skiis in big fans of concern. I had poles but was holding them up slightly from the ground. "Do I tuck them under my arms like I've seen on TV? Or do I try to poke them, gently, into the ground which might start to slow me down? Or send me ass over tea kettle..." I was in a quandry. "What to do? What to do?" Then my mind wandered for awhile because I didn't want to have to make a decision at all. All the decisions seemed life threatening. Finally I quit daydreaming (about Brad Pitt!?!?!?) and brought my mind back to the problem at hand. "What are the pros?" I thought to myself. Then my mind went blank. "It's pretty!" I thought. "Yes, the snow is pretty, the air is crisp...my outfit is pretty cool looking even thought it makes me look puffy." I chewed on all this for awhile and then thought again..."What are the cons?" Then my mind filled with all the other things besides the fact that it was pretty and crisp and I had on a cool outfit. I sighed. A blue bird flew over to me from a tree and perched on my shoulder. I thought that was pretty cool. "Put your poles down." it whispered in my ear. I thought, "Wow, is this some kind of message from GOD?" I decided to TRUST and I put my poles down very gingerly into the snow. I immediately began to flip and skid and get tossed around unmercifully. Snow filled my mouth and nose, I gasped for air every time I thought my face was facing up out of the snow. I tumbled for what felt like forever. Finally I came to rest. A white body in a white snow bank. With little chance of survival. The blue bird laughed and laughed.