October 14th 2007

Weird dream last night...dreamt I was in a barrel going over Niagra Falls. (People have actually done this...some died in the attempt but I'm pretty sure at least one guy did it and lived...I'll have to do an MSN Search on this later to verify) anyway, I'm going over the Falls and I have on a pink dress with bows and a really full tutu-like skirt. The skirt keeps catching on little nails that are in the barrel and I am really panicked about tearing the dress because I've borrowed it from my friend Gouda. I'm tenderly unsnagging the dress from the nails when I notice that my shoes are on the wrong feet. I make a valiant attempt to switch the shoes to the right feet. At this point I have left the relatively calm floating part of the trip and hit some rapids just before the big fall over the Falls themselves. So the barrel is going end over end and I'm inside working on the left shoe and finally it pops off and the barrel does another flip at that point and the shoe gets wedged behind my shoulder. Now I am cussing. I realize I should be experiencing the barrel over the Falls experience and not the shoe behind the shoulder experience but I also realize that if I make it down alive it will look pretty bad to the press if the barrel lid is removed and I'm in there with a shoe behind my shoulder. So I spend several minutes attempting to extract the shoe from behind my shoulder but then I realize that I should go ahead and get the right shoe onto the right foot first and that the left shoe behind the shoulder is really a handy place for the shoe to be. I get the right shoe on the right foot and then I realize that I am falling really fast and I think, "Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm going down the Falls!" And I am. I nearly have a heart attack. It's scary but fun at the same time and I'm doing something unique and daring and I'm feeling all full of myself. Finally the barrel comes to rest in the relatively calm waters at the bottom of the Falls where I have drifted over to the left and been stopped by some natural debris. I wedge the top off the barrel and pop up. My shoe goes flying out into the water and begins to bob away from me. To my chagrin I am surrounded by people in barrels. Everyone is looking a little disappointed. A little boy starts to cry and his Mother says, "That's it?!?!? We paid $5.00 for that?!?" And I realize that riding in a barrel over Niagra Falls has become a cheap tourist trick. I look down and see that I have ripped Gouda's dress.