Last night's dream 12/03/09

Last night I dreamt that Rosebud, Nigel, and I were going to Goodwill. Rosebud was cranky because she wanted to stay at home and sleep and Nigel was cranky because I didn't let him bring his Q-tip stick. I had put a few things in the cart to try on. One was this really fabulous leopard print top that I was positive would make my waist look tiny whilst drawing attention to my magnificent rack. As a bonus it had the half price color tag! Nigel came down the aisle dragging a junior scientist chem lab box. "Moooommmmm!" he foamed excitedly, "I can blow things up!" Then he saw my face and his face fell. "Moooooommmmmmm!" he said beseechingly, "I'll only blow up small things! Pleeeaaaassssseeeee Moooooommmmmmmmm!" Rosebud comes up behind him and shoves her knee into the back of his knee and he goes sprawling. Then he starts crying. I look around and everyone is staring. "Nigel, Nigel..." I croon, "Come here little Fella." I pick up Nigel and he sinks into my shoulder and I pat his back. Then he starts the fist punching in thin air thing that he does. I have no idea what this means but I let him punch a little air until he calms down. "Look, let's pass on the lab and I'll get us all chicken and liver treats for tonight!" Nigel shakes his head "Okay" excitedly. Boy loves his chicken and liver. Then I turn to deal with Rosebud. I spot her at the far end of the store innocently leafing through paperbacks. I sigh. I turn around ready to head for the dressing room to try on a few things. I look down and the leopard print top is gone! I look around the cart thinking maybe Nigel knocked it out. It's nowhere to be found. "Tsk!" I think. Then I head to the dressing rooms and see that one is occupied and the second one is empty. I go in with Nigel who makes a face. He doesn't really like to see me in my "all unders" as he calls them. "You can face the wall or close your eyes..." I state. He goes in with me and pulls out a pouch of jacks and a ball. He doesn't play, he just examines them. I am trying on one of my finds when I catch a glimpse of a leopard print sleeve brushing the floor of the dressing room stall next to me. Sharp intake of breath! "Why the nerve..." I mutter low and menacingly--safe in my dressing room. Then I hear, "With a little tuck here and a little tuck there, Hot 70's Disco Night, here I come!" I yell out, "Jesus!" There is silence in the other dressing room. A pregnant pause and then furtive gathering of items and the sound of an attempt to open the door without making a sound. "Jesus Christ!" I shout again. Then I realize that I am in a dressing room and that the whole store is probably staring my way. "Nigel, stay here, honey." I say as I turn and yank open my door. There stands Jesus attempting to slink away with the leopard print top under his arm. "What are you DOING?!?!" I say accusingly. "Oh, yeah, accuse, accuse, accuse!" He snorts. "As if I haven't had enough of THAT in my life!"
"You can't steal things out of people's carts, especially out of FRIENDS carts, like that just because you had a rough childhood! We ALL have damn it. We ALL have!" and I look around for support but the other shopping ladies are all averting their eyes and moving away slowly but purposefully towards housewares. "Tsk." says Jesus and hands over the leopard print top. I go back into the room and try it on. It doesn't fit. I come back out and hand it back to Jesus who whoops a little bit and does a few opening steps to "The Hustle". Rosebud is leaning against the outside wall of the dressing room texting. She gives Jesus the hairy eyeball. The two just don't get along. Nigel comes out of the dressing room with his little sack of jacks and balls and yells, "Uncle Jesus!" and leaps into Jesus' arms. "Hey little bud!" says Christ. "How's it hanging?" "Long and wide!" replies Nigel. He doesn't know what it means but that's what his Uncle has taught him to reply. Jesus always has a little tickle from this. So I stand watching him chuckle and Nigel looking hopeful that he's said it right and Rosebud yawning and texting. I say, "Ok, who's up for chicken and liver treats?" and we all wave a hand in the air.