Last night I dreamt that Jesus and I were walking out in the forest. There was a stream to the right and Jesus kept slamming into my shoulder to try and knock me into the stream. "Cut it out..." I said wearily.
Jesus always tried this kind of crap on me when we were together. He slammed me again. "For the love of...!" I exclaimed.
"Come on! I want to baptise you!"
"Forget it!"
"Come on, come on, come on!"
"No. Absolutely not. Can you just let me have my own BELIEFS for a change!"
He starts pouting.
"Tsk."
"Hey, did you see that bird? Little tiny blue thing! How cool!" I try.
"BFD."
I give up, because with Jesus there are very few ways to pull him out of a sulk.
I stumble and fall to the ground. Jesus leaps into action!
"Is anything broken?" he asks excitedly.
"Uh....oh...uh...no, no, nothing broken..."
He looks crestfallen.
"Ow! Ow!" I whinge. "Oh man! I have DEFINITELY sprained the heck out of my ankle, though!" I lie encouragingly.
"I'll HEAL you! I'll HEAL you!" he squeals.
And he does. And now he's happy again.
"You're kinda bored these days, huh?" I ask.
"Oh, you have no idea..." He begins and then goes off into a long rambling diatribe about how in the old days he was respected, misunderstood, feared, adored, attacked, revered...a whole host of reactions. "Now, El...now, people have put me in a little box of understanding. They think they have me all figured out! I'm the son of GOD for crying out loud! Figured out. Can you beat that?!?!?"
"I've never been in your position J." I say. "I really don't know how to help you. I wish I knew what to say or do to ease your pain...but...I don't. And I feel bad about that."
He perks up.
"Tsk." Because I walked right into it.
He slams into my shoulder and I allow myself to tumble into the stream.
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