last night's dream 11/29/09

Last night I dreamt that I was getting ready for the presidential inauguration. I had done some great thing that got me an invitation to sit on the dais whilst the new president was sworn in. I was standing in my closet and I was in a panic because the more I looked the more apparent it became that I owned NOTHING even remotely acceptable for such an important and serious event. I kept flicking through my wardrobe thinking, "When did I buy THIS?!?!?" And I'm looking at these, well, really nice quality pasty and g-string sets, tutus in darn near all the colors of the rainbow, dominatrix outfits, including some very strange rubber and latex stuff, a clown costume, and three, count them!, three nurses uniforms from the 1940's complete with cape and cap. There was a set of scrubs with a kitten motif, a "Punk Sucks" t-shirt that I made in the 80's and was sure had disintegrated off my body back in `92, a "Kiss the Cook" apron, and a complete Samurai warrior battle armour from the late 1600's. "Hmmm..." I pondered. "Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm." I kept flicking. "Aha!" I shouted. Way at the back of the closet, I had spotted a stunning evening gown of sapphire blue and I thought, "Now, there's the ticket!" When I pulled the dress off the rack I saw that it had no back. I don't mean low...I mean like it stopped at the sides. No back. What-so-ever. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. And I thought, "Oh, come on now!" I kept turning it around thinking, I don't know, that a back was going to be there somehow. But no. No. I put the dress on. It looked absolutely smashing from the front. Absolutely. Then I spun around and...well, there you have it. Bare naked Elliott butt. "That's not going to fly..." I reflected thoughtfully. So I got all "Project Runway" and began cutting up some of the more demure latex stuff and stitching it to the dress. When I was done I had a pretty exciting haute couture-ish frock on my hands. There was even a bustle made from various tutus. I got all dolled up and heard the limo beep, beep its horn and I smiled as I took one last twirl in the mirror. All I had to do was slap on some shoes and I was ready to go...then I opened the shoe closet with a flourish, peeked inside and began to weep.