Last night I dreamt Rosebud was 16 and was going out on her first serious date. It was with the Dalmation from down the street. She comes out of her bedroom with a red sweater on with rhinestones spelling out the word "Bitch".
"WHERE did you get that?!?!?" I shrieked.
"Oh Mother!" Rosebud sighed bored.
"No! NO, NO, NO and that would be N-O! You are not wearing that in public!" I declared.
"Mooooommmmm! Come on! All the Cornish are wearing them! Didn't you see the cover of Vogue this month?!?!? It's a whole spread of Mariah Carey at home with her Cornish and BOTH of hers are wearing "Bitch" sweaters. They're super cool!" She whined.
"Honey," I replied, "They are slutty...Don't be slutty."
"I DON'T look slutty!" she shouted, then paused. "Do I look slutty?!?!?" she worried.
"The red is really good with your skin tone...how about that other red sweater I got you?" I suggested.
"Oh that one...I clawed that up AGES ago..."
"Well, how about the blue?"
"Threw up on that last night..."
"There's the leopard print one...?"
"Clashes with my calico." She determined.
"How about the cream one with black trim?"
"Oh Mom," she scolded, "That one says, "Save a stray and get a spay!" Please!"
We both paused, thinking.
"Mom...maybe we could go...you know....shopping..."
"Oh Rosebud, you know we are on a tight budget right now..." I started but the look on her face stopped me..."Ok, we can go...but sale rack only!" I declared.
She came over and gave me a little bite on the elbow.
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1 comment:
Ohmygodiluvit! But my daughters come with fur already attached. Thank you for the poker tutoring Friday night and for indulging my inner Rober Plant. I finally got it!
Xxoo Cathy
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