Last night's dream 9/8/09

Last night I dreamt I was a fairy and I lived in a toadstool. It was so cozy! There was a little fireplace in the corner and a little tiny bear rug in front of it. There was a little tiny wooden table that I have obviously made and on the table a little tiny bowl of tiny fruit. Unfortunately, as usual, I hadn't eaten the fruit fast enough and there was a swarm of really, really tiny fruit flies around the bowl. I tsk`ed disgustedly and got out a little teeny tiny biodegradable garbage bag and threw the spoiled fruit in the bag leaving it open for a moment so that the swarm of really, really tiny fruit flies could follow the fruit into the bag. I reasoned that the bag would biodegrade before the flies would die. I was after all a fairy and cherished life in all it's forms, even annoying fruit flies. I shucked off my tiny fairy boots....oh! They were so dang cute! They had a curved toe area and...well, they were adorable fairy boots, picture them for yourselves...I shucked off my tiny fairy boots and crossed the wooden floor in my striped fairy socks. I decided to do my workout DVD so I went over to the tiny plasma TV and put the DVD in the player. While it was loading I took off my fairy dress...it was coated with THE BEST sequins! and got into my fairy workout clothes. Due to the generous endowment of my rack I had to wear two fairy sports bras for optimal support of my fairy breasts. The instructor was ready to begin and so was I. I did the warm up and then rolled my eyes because the next part was push ups and I really felt that as a fairy push ups were unnecessary and I worried that I would become too muscley and not be fairy enough. With this on my mind I kind of "phoned in" the push ups but when it came to the sit up section I was right there giving it 110%! And with my abs there was no question that 110 was the LEAST I should offer. Now when it came to the jumping jack section there was always a problem. I tended to start to fly. I couldn't help it! I'd do a jack and the next thing I knew I'd be clocking my head against the ceiling. I'd set myself back down but within a jack or two I'd be right back up there again. This was a dilemma. So I mentioned it at my fairy support group and after they all looked at me like I was a human or something one of them asked if I couldn't tether myself to some large (well, in the fairy world that would really be tiny) piece of furniture. Problem solved! Except that I had to tether myself super fast so that I wouldn't fall behind in the DVD program. But that was okay because doing it fast kept my heart rate up so all in all it was a win/win. We fairies like win/win and myself, in particular, I like win/win a lot. I really don't like lose/lose and if it's lose/win I better be on the back half of that /. Anyway, after I finished my workout I felt very righteous so I made myself a HUGE (well, again in the fairy world it was really quite tiny) coffee ice cream shake! Mmmmmm. That took care of dinner. I realized I hadn't fed the cats and I called out, "Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!" and two dust mites came running gangbusters into the room and straight to the food bowls. In fairy terms the dust mites were just about the size of normal human cats so it wasn't as disgusting as it sounds. I petted each of them and put down a heaping (in fairy terms barely the size of a pinhead) helping of organic wet food for them. The female dust mite sniffed the food and strolled away unimpressed. I called after her, "That crap is over a buck a can girlie!" The male dust mite wolfed it down as if he hadn't eaten...ever. That taken care of I threw on my fairy sandals and went out to the mailbox. Bills, bills, and a Netflix DVD. Back in the house I popped the DVD in and settled in to watch "America's Next Top Fairy, Cycle 13".